Day two in the books as far as the workout is concerned. Still much more to accomplish with eating and NOT DRINKING. Obviously the NOT DRINKING is going to be tough but I really don’t drink much during the week anyway, however it is made up for on the weekends. Most everyone has told me that what I eat is 80-90% of the battle so here is what I ate yesterday.
Breakfast: 1 banana before workout, two egg Omelette with a tiny bit of Mozz cheese, 4 strawberries, and a piece of whole grain toast with some peanut butter.
Lunch: A grilled chicken salad
Snack: a few smoked almonds, and a few cashews.
Dinner: Chicken Sir fry with vegetables and some white rice.
I woke up (or was frightened out of bed by the god awful sound of my alarm) at 5:45 to get ready for the gym. I am sore and tired as hell. Made myself a Spark by Advocare and had a Core Plex multi-vitamin. Stretched (or rather ripped my hamstring from my bone and through my skin) my back and legs, battled my cat Beans, then embarked on the ride of death to the gym. As is my usual I had to turn around because I forgot my damn Banana. Not sure what the hell life would be like in there with out any kind of food to burn off.
Arrived just in time and I don’t really think he was surprised to see me even though I was surprised to be there. At this point I am thinking, ‘he is going to put me back on that fucking row machine’ that I am confident I died three times on the day before, however he goes a different route. To the weight machines. Jesus I think I haven’t lifted a weight probably since High School. He seems to grab two 35lb plates (granted I didn’t even look at the size because I’m still afraid of tearing a muscle straight out of my skin, not to mention the possible embarrassment of them only being 5lb) and said ‘give me 15’. Seemed easy enough the first set then we went over to some damn machine to pull down an undisclosed amount of weight with my “body leaned back, chest out high, and back straight” (thank god for a trainer because I am sure my lower disks would have blown straight out of my spine and through my stomach only to be stopped by the last defense of full blown fat I have accumulated over the years) for a total of 15.
Man, after that I stood up and for some reason I seemed to be walking around all PUMPED UP and shit without even trying, and feeling like I looked like all those cut up body building fuckers in there. Don’t forget however there are mirrors EVERY DAMN WHERE and if that isn’t enough to bring you back down to earth there is always ‘lets do another 15’ coming right out of Ronnie’s mouth. ‘FUCK’ I thought, ‘can’t you just let me act like I am strong for a damn minute”? So here we go off to the races 1, 2, 3, 4, FIIIVE, SIIIIIIX, SEVEEEEEEEEEN, AHHHHH!! Then I hear the magic words ‘Hold on a sec’. Thank God, and at this point any one that can hear my prayers for mercy, for this small break while he puts some SMALLER weights on (again I have no idea where we began so we could be heading toward 2.5lbs but at this point there is no SHAME and I would have been fine with a couple pieces of paper). We finish out with three reps of 15 on each. My arms at this point are either floating away or flipping around like noodles (keep in mind I have no idea BECAUSE I CAN’T FEEL EITHER FUCKING ONE OF THEM) and my man Ronnie says, ‘can you do a push up’? WTF are you kidding me? YEA I “COULD” do one this morning but NOW? I don’t even know where my damn arms ARE much less to be able to hold my fat ass up and do a push up.
I am NOW convinced this man is trying to KILL me. I am hoping all my life insurance and will shit is up to date and has been filed properly while I get down on my knees to attempt to find my arms, get them in front of me, and begin this impossible task of a fucking push up. Then….boom… FAILURE at its finest. No fucking chance in hell I could do it. Tried at least four times and no matter how loud and hard I screamed (I have seen weight lifters employ this technique) it simply wasn’t happening. Can we say the word Demoralized? Shit man, I was embarrassed again but fuck it at least I was there right?
Well we go over to another machine that I had to grab some handles, step forward with my arms fanned out and PUUULLL like I was hugging a tree 3 reps of 15. I actually fared pretty well on this one but I was quick to let him know there was a little too much weight on there. Last but not LEAST he gets out this big ass gray ball for….wait for it……CRUNCHES!! Have you cat’s seen my fat ass?? This is the reason I am hear to get this belly OFF and he wants CRUNCHES? Many of you have a six pack or so,well I have one big ass barrel made of Hungarian oak strapped to my spine and rib cage, so crunches seemed at the very least INAPPROPRIATE at the moment. So I laid out on that ball (which felt wonderful on the back BTW) and began my crunches. 1, 2, 3, 4…….15, 16, (Wait what the fuck happened to FIFTEEN?) 17…25. TWENTY FIVE?? My God man are you looking at the same dude I am? Ten second break and then…..wait for it…..ANOTHER 25. Holy shit Ronnie I am getting concerned here aren’t you? Ten second break and then……wait for it…….wait for it……ANOTHER FUCKING 25. I have no more words in my head at this point to even say to myself. My mind was simply a jumbled up bunch of WHAT THE FUCK DID I GET MYSELF INTO? then the wonderful words TWENTY FIVE, FINALLY DONE. Oh and I am actually still alive at this point so I really don’t know what to think.
It was over (thank god right?) and I told him I was a bit embarrassed about the push ups and he told me it was fine. He said he was pushing me to see my limits. See how far I could go. Then he says ‘you actually impressed me’. I thought ‘what’? Then asked How? He said ‘because you didn’t QUIT. Not one time’. He said many people have just stopped and told him they couldn’t do any more. So today I choose THIS as my VICTORY. I have never been a quitter and have been through some damn hard fought battles my entire life but I have NEVER quit. My father and Grandfather instilled that into me at a very young age. For this I will be back tomorrow as long as my body is not too sore to go. Ronnie said if I come in too sore and try to compensate it will be counter productive at this stage. SO we have to watch that part of it but I will find something else to do if nothing more than walk if I can’t go in order to stay active.
The ride home was a bit surreal. no music, phone or anything (mainly because it was all I could fucking do to hold on to the steering wheel with my noodle arms) except the sound of the motor and turn signals. Another day in the gym had just passed and though it was only my second I was able to say ‘I made it’.
Until tomorrow my friends and here’s to another beginning. Thanks for reading.