What’s up guys its the shrinking man here and I mean everything including muscle. One of my biggest problems with losing weight is I seem to lose it in all the places I don’t want to like my ASS. You see I don’t have an ass nor does anyone in my family for that matter but when I gain some weight it looks as if I do. It is bad enough to know what a FLAT ASS looks like but there is some purpose to having some booty. I find it very useful in holding up my pants. Unlike many of us who actually use a belt I find them to be rather uncomfortable and they tend to DIG into my gut so I don’t really wear them. Now My ASS is gone yet GUT is still available so the belt thing is going to have to happen. So if you see me running around with my pants hanging halfway down my ass please don’t think I am making a fashion statement, this is a temporary issue that will be resolved when I loose this GUT and can actually purchase some new digs. ON to today’s workout.
My man Ronnie (ONE MORE) Robertson pulled some shit out of his ASS today and put a few exercises in that I haven’t seen yet. First that fucker the ROWING MACHINE. Well I still hate the son of a bitch but I get why ONE MORE says it will be my friend. It seems he has an imagination that Stephen King would envy and knows he is going to make me hate something more. After that Rowing machine bastard came the ROPE?? Yea the one that I am still having trouble calling a rope. I can’t seem to find another name for it other than FUCKER. Here is where it gets interesting…..He has me run over and do push ups holding onto some hoops hanging from a rope. NO PROBLEM right. Whatever. Before I met this man push ups were not a problem. My only guess is my muscles are so burnt they will simply not preform this task but when you add in trying to balance some hoops with a rope it seems quite far out of reach. In the end it pisses me off because the man has never seen me do one and in fact has asked if I really can. I hope this changes soon because it is a bit disheartening to not be able to prove him wrong.
After giving that my ALL I had to go over a use another rope (this one is reasonable) to hoist up a 25lb weight and let it back down for a minute. Doesn’t seem like much but this is another new one to the routine and turns out to be a BITCH. Off to another 25lb weight to pick up and hold while doing lunges. The acid Lava begins to show itself while I am gasping for air because I think it may be possible that Irma has taken most of our oxygen and sent it to other places throughout the US. I am confident there was more oxygen at 14 thousand feet above sea level then there was here today. So we can add that to the list of things that bitch Irma did.
NOW HERE IS THE KICKER……….After my lunges and trying to GASP what air I can find I have to go over and pick up 40LB bags of sand (yes I said 40 FUCKING LB bags of sand) and through them over one shoulder at a time from one end of the room to another in 30 SECONDS. Forget the minute cause that isn’t fucking good enough ol ONE MORE says 30 seconds. That SHIT WAS TERRIBLE. Even HORRIBLE!! I have no idea WHY in the hell anyone would make anyone do that. I pulled some shit in my neck, back, arms, hell even my nads were hurting. And as if that wasn’t enough I had to grab that 25 lb weight and put it over my head and do fucking squats. SQUATS!!!! Oh with no AIR because of FUCKING IRMA. The BEST thing about it all to my man ONE MORE was I got to do it all over again. This man gets excited about that whole ONE MORE shit let me tell you. This time when I finished the second set he let me KEEP THROWING those fucking bags ONE MORE, ONE MORE, ONE MORE Time. I threw them bitches from one side to the next four times. Yep FOUR. Good thing I had elastic shorts on because trying to do that with my pants hanging around my ass would have been problematic. After ONE MORE found out how much I hated the bags he promised to incorporate them more. WTF?? the more I hate something the more he works it in. I am going to start telling him how much I hate laying down and fucking resting. I will let you all know how that works out.
Well 20 days in and I am still at it. It is exhausting and not quite as liberating as one might think however there are visible differences (I have no ASS) and I think I am able to work a bit longer than before. Knowing that I can throw those bags, flip that tire, work that ROPE?? etc does give a sense of accomplishment. Especially without QUITTING. I may have to gasp for air or walk it off a bit but I have yet to quit. I am losing weight however I don’t feel stronger but I think that will be months in the making. I hate waking up at 5:45 but I am sure I will get used to it as time goes by. In the end I still recommend it to anyone ready for a change. I know that eating is the biggest part of it but it seems that working out is a challenge that helps keep me going. Having a trainer is key as they will push you and hold you accountable. Plus they know what the fuck they are doing (or at least they act like they do lol). I am excited about the future and at 48 there is not doubt I need to be stronger and more fit than I have been because age will catch up to you if you let it. Ol’ ONE MORE nearly has me by 10 years and can run circles around me so if I can be in half as good of shape as him by 56 I will be happy.
Appreciate you stopping by and here is to Another new beginning. Showing up is the majority of the battle.