My Journey to Health Day 3, 4 and 5

Well hello all. Sorry for the delayed post but I was simply unable to type after my Thursday workout. In fact I was unable to do a lot of necessary things such as lifting food to my mouth, picking my nose, brushing my teeth, drying off my body after a shower, and the ever so popular reaching around to WIPE MY OWN ASS. You see last I checked I was only 48 and it simply wasn’t time for that level of helplessness. So here it goes.

After I left the Thursday workout not being able to feel my noodle like arms (struggling to hold the fucking steering wheel) I really never regained the feeling in my arms like I should. I mean they were there as I could see them flopping around from time to time but they had this numb type of feel to them and I wasn’t actually able to write a blog about my experience.

Thursday night I went to bed with a sense of accomplishment for ripping my muscles to hell and back and actually putting a blog together. I had also just landed two HUGE jobs for Advanced Tech so I was riding high. Actually went to bed a bit earlier than I thought in anticipation of HOPPING up and gleefully bouncing my happy ass to my next workout Friday a.m. at 5:45. Fell asleep pretty quick and then it happened. At approximately 11:30 p.m. my arms decided to regain ALL feeling (and when I say ALL, I fucking mean ALL) and let me know they were still there. I awoke to this HORRIBLE SCREAM in my head AAAAAAAHHHAHHHHH!!!! My eyes SLAMMED open and all I could think was WHAT THE FUUUUUCK IS HAPPENING to me? I am talking crazy THROBBING PAIN. I then thought it would be a great idea to try and get out of the bed however it dawned on me that I needed my ARMS to help me up. HOLY SHIT I said out loud (only to wake up Jules and trust me I am all male I needed someone to hear me whine and bitch) I am in PAIN. I began flopping my legs first, lifting them up and then slamming them down with the hope it would help me projectile lift my upper body off the bed so I could go to the bathroom and walk around and try to figure out what to do.

Not sure why we head straight to the bathroom because we don’t actually find the answers needed but for some reason with a tile floor it seems to be cooler in there and my arms were burning like ACID LAVA was flowing through them and I needed any kind of cool I could get. Keep in mind I am still Groggy as hell and am really stumbling so I thought ‘maybe I should sit down’? Yea that was a fucking great idea. My knees buckled (because don’t forget the muscles in them had been worked like a damn Mack truck Engine climbing the Rocky mountains carrying a load of boulders) and I damn near broke the damn toilet. Well the worst part of this idea was actually trying to get my broken down ass up OFF the toilet. My arms were of NO USE and my damn knees somehow found a way to get the ACID LAVA to ooze down into them so I was rendered helpless. I somehow found a way to grit grind and grunt my ass to freedom and stand only to almost tear down the cabinet behind me. I also was unable to find one damn PILL that would possibly give me any relief (many fond memories of Colorado and a certain type of candy bar came dancing in my head as I was praying for the pain to subside) so I just returned to bed and basically fell in making as much noise as I could just so I could wake Jules up one more time and tell her how fucking bad I was hurting and somehow fell back to sleep.

In the end I never slept more than an hour at a time and woke up at 5:45 to TEXT (that’s right I said text cause there was no fucking way in hell I was going to be able to drive to the damn gym much less lift an ounce of weights) Ronnie and let him know I was in way to much pain to come work out. Even sent a long text trying to describe my excruciating pain (remember how proud he was of me for not quitting?) It was shameful but what was even worse is that I decided then would be a good time to add him to my contacts however with my arms and hands not functioning I typed in the wrong number. So some random person got a pitiful broken text from me with my excuse for not working out. I am sure that made their morning but a ‘hey man wrong person’ would have been nice because I got a text from Ronnie around 2 wondering if I was alright. My first instinct was to say “FUCK NO I’M NOT ALRIGHT WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK AFTER WHAT YOU PUT MY FAT, GREY, OLD, BROKEN ASS THROUGH” but I just apologized for the mistake and forwarded him the text. Personally I think it was his way to keep me from lifting a damn beer, or hell… food for that matter, to my mouth through the weekend. Fucker. You know he did that shit. But I told him I wasn’t quitting and I would be back on Monday (I hoped).

Since I was in so much pain I opted to walk these three days. I know it wasn’t the same but in my mind it was better than nothing and it was all the damn hell I could do because I arms kept me up Friday night as well (and YES I was Drunk, we will get to that in a bit). Saturday was a bit better but it really wasn’t until today I felt better.

Food wise I had basically the same breakfast each day and lunch varied from a salad, to stir fry, to broccoli and chicken. Snacks were same Almonds and Cashews. Dinner Friday was a very small lean cut of Steak, grilled Brussel sprouts, and pinto beans. Saturday we did a progressive (rode around from place to place with a different dish that consisted of things like Lettuce wraps, Turkey sliders, etc) dinner.

Now on to the good shit. Ronnie told me at least cut my drinking in half on the weekend (I heard go to the liquor store). That put me in a bit of a depression but hey I thought I need to at least give up something. So I began researching the calories in what I was drinking and let me tell you the shit I was drinking had 222 calories. YEP you heard that shit right 222. And I was drinking a lot of them. SO imagine my surprise to find out that light beer and VODKA only had about 90-96 calories per. WTF????? Shit if I just switched to either I could actually drink the same amount and still be #WINNING (Charlie Sheen style). I have discovered Titto’s vodka and diet Tonic with a lime is a fantastic drink and I rode that train pretty much the whole weekend.

So in closing I had a major set back with the pain but I was told it would happen and I still found a way to get some movement in and some healthy eating. I came back from the lake actually down a pound when I am usually up 4 so In all it was a WIN.

Here’s to new beginnings guys. Thanks for reading.

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