Man what an AMAZING week (except for the ass whippin's I took) I had. Let me start by saying that yesterday (Wednesday a.m.) I stepped on the scales. I looked down and really couldn't understand what I was seeing. Of course I just woke up so I figured my eyes were just struggling so I wiped them off and found that I still couldn't figure it out. I was like, Fuck somethings wrong with these broken ass scales and I am going to have to buy some new ones, and then my eyes got a bit more clear and I figured out what the hell was wrong. There was a ONE beside the TWO. HOLY SHIT can you believe that?? a damn one. I was actually UNDER 220 for the first time in I have no idea how long but it has been years guys I mean years. This morning I weighed in at 218.6. FUCK YEA FOLKS almost 20 damn pounds in 5 weeks. My gut is still there and my entire midsection has a LONG ass way to go but man what an accomplishment. So here is how the week went:
Monday was arm and chest day. Really just working my weak points. They were total burn out deals but Ronnie said I benched more than I had before so he could tell I was getting stronger. Of course this is after a three day weekend so I had some time to heal. Yes my arms felt like noodles but I didn't seem to mind the burn so much because that was the first day I had actually hit 220.
Tuesday: It would seem that Ol' ONE MORE had some fun the night before designing a workout to fucking break my ass. He says I am the best student he has had all year but let me just say I don't feel like that. This shit he had me do was something only a SICK ASS mind would think up. I'm like DUDE you know I just started this shit right. Plus I don't see any other fuckers in there doing any shit like this. Apparently he has a class at 5 on Wednesday's that are way worse. I've been invited and it had to be the hardest I laughed in 15 years especially since I couldn't breath while laughing. I walk in and the first thing I see is that fucking ROPE?? (I thought this one was big but more to come on that) and I knew it was going to be a bitch. He greets me with a shit eatin' grin and a HAPPY TUESDAY COME ON IN. He gives me a run down of the whole thing and when we passed the 4th station to go into ANOTHER FUCKING room only to find three more stations I thought I was going to fall down into the fetal position and cry THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME, THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME, THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME. Well turns out I wasn't asleep and it was time to BEGIN so here we go.
First that bastard bitch ass the Rowing machine. 'just get your blood moving on a warm up' Ol' ONE MORE says.
Me and that fucker, THE ROW MACHINE
Second....YEP you guessed it that bastard ROPE?? Except with a twist. I have to squat my fat ass down until it touches a stand while I am swinging that fucking thing. I mean after a damn full minute of that bitch you I am staggering and falling down like a drunk while Ol' one more is screaming 'IF YOU STOP WE GOIN START ALL OVER'. Well not necessarily if I FUCKING FALL OVER DEAD dude.
Keep in mind I just started so I am actually looking a bit like I got it going on but by the THIRD time, YES I said third because I had to do ALL This shit THREE times, I was screaming and yelling like a damn Banshee while projectile tears, drool, and sweat are flying everywhere.
And this is actually what I think I look like while he is screaming 'come on don't stop"
As if that wasn't enough it's time for number Three. The TIRE flip shit. He really has fucking fun with me on that tire flip shit because he like to say 'bring it on back for me'. One day I am going to pick that bitch up and roll it to him and see what he thinks about that shit.
That is what you call RUNNING OUT OF STEAM EARLY. At this point I am only working on PISSED OFF cause there is zero energy left to burn. But don't you worry Ol' ONE MORE ain't even close to fucking done.
Fourth I have to run over to some 25-35 lb sand ball and lift it and throw it down. HARD BTW. Yep just slam that motherfucker to the ground. I felt like a damn fool but I did it anyway only to find out that he wanted to me make it bounce back up and catch it. YEP you remembered it was filled with sand not air. Fucking sand. Bounce SAND??
I mean who the the hell does this to a person. And don't forget I am paying for this shit.
Fifth is in the other room. At this point I am SPENT and we still have another round of ALL this shit with a Third round of the ones I hate the damn most. I am going to make him think I hate fucking sitting and laying down next week. I guess on number five he wanted to test not only my strength buy my balance and resolve and let me tell you not ONE of them bitches were much to look at.
He had to begin filming about 3/4 through my reps on this one but you can get a glimpse and an idea what the rest of the place hears when I am getting pissed tired. This shit sucked guys and I mean fucking SUCKED.
Six is almost like a rest except for the fact that I am CRUNCHING my abs so damn tight I can't breath. When I try to explain that to him he says 'COME ON WE CAN BREATH LATER'. First off WE?? His ass over there basking and enjoying ALL the air his little lungs can handle meanwhile mine have collapsed and folded up like a damn blanket thrown on the floor while I am impulse GASPING.
At least at this point my face isn't beet red with eyes popping out but don't worry we had to do this all over again as I said before.
Seventh (but not last) he had waiting for me a damn SLEDGE HAMMER and a tire that I still have no idea how they got it in there for me to beat on. Personally I would have liked to began with that so I could have gotten some good shots in while fantasizing my beating of Ol' ONE MORE but he was smart enough to make it when I could barely lift the fucking SLEDGE HAMMER much less cause any damage.
At one point all I could think about was that damn thing bouncing off and breaking some bone in my TIRED ass body. I actually got a pretty good rhythm down by the last go round but here I am still trying to work it out LOL.
Eighth was that fucking tire again, as I had to "bring" it back to the ROW MACHINE. SO that was the workout. Except at the end he made me do the tire a third and fourth time, the row machine double the time and finish with a THIRD yes, a THIRD stint on that fucking ROPE??
Here is the real folks. He KICKS MY ASS but it isn't for long and I am down almost 20 lbs. I feel better and stronger and I actually look better. Shit has hurt and still does but I know I am better for it. I am eating healthier and I am interested to see if my immune system is better. I have actually had some people get inspired by this BLOG and that makes me feel even more amazing. If you are thinking about making a change like I did just think I am only 5 weeks in. You could have done a shit load by now.
Thanks again for reading and Here's to another new beginning. And never forget JUST SHOW UP
That pic right there is one of a tired ass old man, but a man that just destroyed the toughest work out yet. Thanks to my man Ronnie ONE MORE Robertson for keeping me in line with my goals. Love you brother.